the utterly random magazine
Hello readers,
We will be taking a short hiatus to revamp the look of the site as well as restructure our staff. We want to make the magazine better both for you and us. Expect a sleek new look and more engaging content when we’re back. If you have any suggestions, feel free to contact me at ily.goyanes@arketipo187.com. We’ll miss you, so we expect a big smooch when we reunite.
Love,
Ily Goyanes
Editor
With Cinco de Mayo and the Super Moon behind us, we can all look forward to watching ‘The Avengers‘ a least one more time. Not gonna lie, it was a pretty good movie. 
Now watch in horror as Loki plays with baby Captain America!! That foul trickster!!
Charity Sapphire is a journalist, stunt fighter, philosopher, and lifelong student. Miss Sapphire has lent her skills to various organizations including Vagina Monologues, Alternative Breaks, Shakespeare in the Park Miami, and Urban Ronin. She is currently writing a news column for Arketipo187.com and working toward her MBA in Marketing with Strayer University.
When she is not writing or fighting, she is at home with her boyfriend and mutt.
The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge. Edited by Tristan Taormino. Published by Cleis Press. Available in paperback and Kindle editions.
The Blurb: The Ultimate Guide to Kink is the first major guide to BDSM in a generation—a bold and sexy collection of essays that run the gamut from expert how-to tutorials to provocative essays that delve into complex questions about desire, power, and pleasure. The book brings together diverse voices from the kink community in an unprecedented way: each chapter is written by a different sexuality/BDSM educator. Divided into two sections, the first section features thorough, thoughtful pieces—on everything from flogging to bondage—packed with techniques and beautifully illustrated with original images from artist Katie Diamond. The second section is dedicated to role-playing fantasies and personal manifestos. From age play to masochism, these chapters cover some of the edgiest, most taboo and controversial elements of kink in depth. The Ultimate Guide to Kink features the expertise of renowned educators writing passionately on their favorite subjects, including Patrick Califia, Midori, Laura Antoniou, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, Madison Young, Hardy Haberman, Felice Shays, Ignacio Rivera, Sarah Sloane, Mollena Williams, FifthAngel, and Edge. It will educate, inspire, and challenge both newcomers to the world of kink and experienced BDSM players.
The Cover: A collage of the typical images that come to mind when you think of the word “kink” — black leather boots, chains, and lace-up pants. Three of the four images depict human hands — because our hands are the best and most easily available sex toys. The perfect way to elicit the right mood in the reader, get us into the right “headspace” to enjoy the book. Read the rest of this entry »
When I was fifteen my parents moved us to a farm in rural Missouri, and they had a massive veg garden. I reckon they could have fed half of the state of Missouri from it. They probably would have needed hired help to tend it if they hadn’t had a freebie in me! At first, I hated it. Every morning during the summer, my mother dragged me out of bed at 5:30 a.m. to weed or plant or harvest, or whatever needed to be done that day. By 9 a.m. in the morning it was scorching outside with the humidity hanging somewhere in the neighbourhood of 80%. By that time we were out of the veg patch, drinking iced tea on the front porch in the porch swing while we snapped beans of hulled peas. Does this sound like “American Gothic” or what? And I can tell you after getting up at the crack of dawn and digging in the dirt, I knew exactly why the couple in that painting were NOT smiling. Of course, I was fifteen, and I was the epitome of a surly teenager, so hard put-upon by parents and circumstances that it’s a wonder I survived to adulthood.
Hang on, take it easy, don’t get your knickers in a bunch! I’m not talking about being crazy, unsafe, or having an affair. It’s not that kind of adventure. I’m not talking about whips and chains, unless that is what revs your motor. To each his or her own, I say. I’m talking about good ol’ curiosity and willingness to experiment.
It is commonly believed that masturbation, a.k.a. autoeroticism, is an instinctive behavior. Animals do it, some even using tools to stimulate themselves to satisfaction. Who knew monkeys used dildos?
An informal survey among my friends shows that the majority of people learn to masturbate on their own, mostly through self-exploration in the pre-teen or early teen years. They tell me that having their first orgasm was both exhilarating and scary as hell. It felt great, but many thought they had “broken” something and did not feel comfortable asking an adult for help or reassurance. Somehow, we all “knew” what we were doing was “wrong” or shameful and if we asked Mom or Dad they’d probably be angry. Read the rest of this entry »
I know how much we all love superheroes, that’s why I saved you this little article about a freakishly life-like Captain America action figure! But if you’re like me… you want to know what’s totally hot in the business world right now, so here goes:
And I think that is sooo true. It’s kind of like how I started this column! “Hmmm… what are my Facebook friends up to today? What’s in my email this morning…” 
Speaking of jobs and easy ways to do things… The term “etiquette” is severely under valued these days. Even with the worldwide acceptance of mediocrity, these 5 etiquette tips will get you ahead in the real world.
And just in case any of you needed reminding about social media etiquette… don’t try this at home:
Charity Sapphire is a writer, journalist, stunt fighter, philosopher, and all around performer. Miss Sapphire has lent her skills to various organizations including Vagina Monologues, Alternative Breaks, Fernando Arcay Special Events, Meet to Marry, and Shakespeare in the Park Miami. She is currently writing a news column for Arketipo187.com and learning to wield a rapier with Urban Ronin. Miss Sapphire recently signed on as Creative Communications for InFokus Marketing, Inc., an Outside Marketing & PR firm based in Miami, FL. Miss Sapphire received her B.S. in Mass Communications from Florida International University and is working toward her MBA in Marketing with Strayer University, Doral Campus.
I was saddened to read that the “Buffett Rule” did not pass thru the Senate. I was not surprised however based on how many millionaires are part of that club. More on the pigs feeding at the trough later.
The Buffett Rule is named after billionaire Warren Buffett who gladly told anyone within earshot that his secretary pays a higher percentage of taxes than he does. So President Obama and some Democrats and independents has an honorable idea of trying to pass legislation to have anyone making over a million dollars have to pay a higher percentage of taxes than they do know.
Say Mitt Romney for example whose wealth is estimated to be $190 million to $250 million and is currently paying about 14% tax rate would now be paying at 30%. Now if I was in Mitt’s shoes I would also be fighting against paying 16% MORE in taxes but the problem is I am not Mitt and neither is 99% of America.
Now back to the pigs at the trough. The latest figures are from 2009 but here is an interesting set of percentages that are about politicians that are in Washington D.C. toallegedly represent YOU.
In 2009 out of 535 members of Congress, 261 have an estimated wealth of at least ONE MILLION DOLLARS, that is almost half. Out of those 261, 55 of them have an estimated wealth of at least TEN MILLION DOLLARS.
The average median wealth in the House is $765,000 dollars. In the Senate its $2.38 MILLION DOLLARS.That is average income and that is in 2009 dollars. Wonder what it is in 2012?
Out of the 244 confirmed millionaires in 2009, 138 were Republicans and 106 were Democrats so it is fairly even.
So asking either the House or Senate to vote for a tax increase on basically themselves is like asking Hannibal Lechter if wants to vote for a Vegan or Meat diet in his jail mess hall. Not going to happen.
So it was a nice gesture by the Hipster and a billionaire to try to pass this placebo pablum for the masses but the millionaires in both houses will never pass it and the millionaires in Wall Street and in board rooms everywhere will fight it no matter what. So unless the 99% and the Occupy( fill in your ax to grind here) whatever have a complete occupation of power in the country, the rich will get richer and the poor will get the short end of a very thin stick.
Jorge Goyanes is a Florida business owner since 1993. He has served as president of the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce in West Palm Beach, Vice President of the A.I.H.T. (a professional association of Hispanic businessmen), and ran for city commissioner in 2006 (receiving the majority of the vote in the general election, but resulting in a run-off). He is currently serving as the Chairman for HISPAC (a political action coalition) and is also on the local advisory council in Palm Beach for ASPIRA of Florida. Due to his noble nature, he was inducted into the honorable order of Kentucky Colonels in 1993 and somehow manages to find time to play golf (pretty well), write (very well), play poker (extremely well), and be a wonderful husband, father, brother, and grandfather.
It’s the same movie over and over again.
ACT I
Boy meets Girl. Boy says all the right things to Girl. Boy falls in love with Girl. Boy tells Girl he loves her every day. Girl thinks Boy is as irresistible as cookie dough and can’t get anything done because she keeps thinking about him. When Boy sees Girl, he kisses her like he’s about to jump on a jet plane to go and save the world from ultimate destruction.
ACT II
Boy gets busy with all kinds of things that life throws at him. When they meet, Boy kisses Girl like she’s his mother. Boy gets into arguments with Girl. Boy makes Girl cry. Boy stops telling Girl that he loves her. (ACT III) Girl meets New Guy. New Guy says all the right things to Girl. Girl feels appreciated. Girl cheats on Boy. Read the rest of this entry »
Chillaxing...
It’s a nice rainy afternoon here in Miami, FL today! Since I’m in a good mood, thought I’d let my Miami peeps know about a book event tonight at the Coral Gables Books & Books. Learn how to get ridiculously healthy from an ex-fattie! Yay!
Speaking of Miami… Chaz Bono will be at FIU tonight at the north campus. He is in town for the awesome Gay Pride festival held at Miami Beach yesterday.
Okay, enough about how awesome Miami is. This week, with tax time upon us, I think we should all reflect on the ethics of the people around us (all over the US!). With the state of the country and our politicians acting a fool, I would like to point out that we still have great people living among us who have great hearts. Read about what these children would do if they had a trillion dollars.
And, for now, I leave you with…. CATSSSS!!!!
HOOT
Charity Sapphire is a writer, journalist, stunt fighter, philosopher, and all around performer. Miss Sapphire has lent her skills to various organizations including Vagina Monologues, Alternative Breaks, Fernando Arcay Special Events, Meet to Marry, and Shakespeare in the Park Miami. She is currently writing a news column for Arketipo187.com and learning to wield a rapier with Urban Ronin. Miss Sapphire recently signed on as Creative Communications for InFokus Marketing, Inc., an Outside Marketing & PR firm based in Miami, FL. Miss Sapphire received her B.S. in Mass Communications from Florida International University and is working toward her MBA in Marketing with Strayer University, Doral Campus.
When she is not writing or fighting, she is at home with her boyfriend and mutt.
